SEVEN RANDOM THINGS

Colleen over at Meanderings tagged me for the seven meme… Thanks, Colleen! Sort of .....I am in a grumpy mood which means I do NOT like opening my mouth.......

The Rules:
1. Link to the person’s blog who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog.
3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself.
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that they have been tagged by posting a comment on their blog.

1. I don't like blogging ot talking or anything when I am in a bad mood. I do not know why I am in a terrible mood, maybe b/c improving my life with diabetes seems hopeless! In other words I see no alternatives for improvement. Or maybe it is all chemical and whatever is messing with my diabetes is also messing with my mental state!
2. Currently I feel that every time I open my mouth, I shouldn't have! So probably I shouldn't be writing this, but then I feel I have let Colleen down.
3. I am currently keeping track of how many of my hypos I do not feel at all. Why? I am wondering if I should try porcine insulin. I doubt if this is even possible here in Belgium.... Is there a doctor who can advise me with porcine insulin in an insulin pump? I will not give up my pump. I will not accept high bg values because I am scared shitless of complications.
4. So far I only feel the hypos when I am descending through the 50s, but not when I am in the 30s or 40s. For those hypos where I was in the 30s or 40s, I did NOT feel when I went through the 50s, obviously!
5. It also feels like a hypo after a hypo, when my bg is RISING through the 50s!
6. Yesterday and today I have taken the same insulin, eaten the same food and gotten the same exercise, but today I have had hypos in the 40s all afternoon. Yesterday I had to take correction boluses (ie take extra insulin) four times. Insertion site in my thigh both today and yesterday. Neither day have I been stressed. I am NOT asking for possible explanations from anybody. I am merely voicing my frustration. I wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't been tagged.
7. I do NOT like it when people blog and have nothing to say.......

AND I am beginning to wonder why I blog. Nothing changes any way. It seems like a cure will never be found, so why do I follow the diabetic news every day? What is the purpose of telling my readers about what I have read? You readers who just got diabetes, OK I am glad that you are out there, full of your enthusiasn, cause I just do not have it anymore. Some people have said that I encourage them......but I think that is wrong. I feel that they just do not really understand how hard it is for me to get these good results. Sometimes I really wonder if it is worth it, but as I said previously I am very scared of complications. So now I am feeling I shouldn't have opened my mouth since I shouldn't discourage others. Exactly where this blog entry started.

OK - I tag: (and I have no clue who's been tagged)
Kathy, Scott S., Barry, Heidi, Kerri, Amy and Lili.

Make Your Voice Heard

I was very upset when Amy brought to my attention the speech of Dr. Richard Kahn at the Diabetes Technology Society . Amy's engagement has been tremendous. Also please see her follow-up entry here. I really do believe it is important for all diabetics to take a stand. ALL of us, T1s and T2s, have to react when the ADA does not represent the views of diabetics! We must make our voice heard - please take the survey, and please spread the word.

If we don't open our mouths now, then we have no right to complain in the future. Amy and Kelly and Jeff and Gina - thank you!

D-blog day

Here is a huge


(((((((HUG)))))))


to all of you in the Diabetes On-Line Community.

Thank you for bringing me out of my loneliness. There is no way that I can properly express in words my emotions. So I send the hug - it is a warm, tight long hug. Thank you for being there. Thank you for understanding when I gripe. Thank you for accepting me given that I am such a pain-in-the-neck, outspoken, argumentative person. ....

Chrissie

Skye has been BAD!

I mean very BAD! Should I tell you what this naughty dog did yesterday?! I am still furious. (It is fun playing with the colors and font size.) And yes right now my bg is low, so I am warning you I am very philosophical and blabby....Why do we get philosophical and blabby when low? We certainly don't need THAT when we are low?!

This is what that naughty dog did yesterday morning..... I took him out for his morning "toilet" walk. Per was at home. So Skye did his stuff, but I wanted to walk some more because the air was cold and beautiful. Crisp! Lovely fall weather. So I went back home and got my camera. Now Skye thought he had done his stuff and why couldn't Per be with us..... He was JUST sitting at his desk reading! I am sure that Skye was thinking these thoughts. I am getting ahead of myself. So I go back to the park, which is very close to our home, and I take this picture

He just would NOT sit on the bench! He is definitely thinking about something else.....

and this .......

This picture is also funny - look carefully at his devilish eyes:

The most important thing about a person or a dog is their eyes. Back to the story. Skye is getting this little evil glimt in his eyes...... (Where IS Per?) I have let Skye off the leash and there is another dog that is very nice. A friendly cocker-golden mix. His face was cocker and his back was golden. His body was small like a cocker's. I didn't take photos of him, so just imagine it. Go ahead, you know how gold cockers look and how goldens look! Lovely mix. He was so happy and playful, but Skye had his head on something else..... I was busy talking in my terrible Fench, and then Skye was GONE. He has NEVER done this before, not in Brussels at least! YUP, he decided to go home and get Per. It is very close, but there is one road that has quite a bit of traffic. People drive like maniacs - zooming by. Americans drive at the pace of turtles..... Nice and calm. Belgians say it is the foreighners who are the crazy drivcers. I don't know who is at fault! So Skye ran home and stood outside our door and barked! Yup, Per heard him out there barking!!! He went down and opened the door and there he was, without me ..... I am back in the park hollering my head off. Ooooof that BAD dog! Why does he do this too me?!!!!!

Yesterday, I took a teeny sip of coke (15ml) for a hypo at 8:30AM and my bg popped up from 51 to 113mg/dl, so I do not want to make the same mistake today! This is why I am waiting to see if the bg will rise by itself - it often does due to the peanutbutter on my bread at breakfast. For me a sure sign of a low bg is FREEZING. I mean freezing from the inside out. I have on now a synthetic shirt that wicks away the mositure, a black wool sweater and another black wool sweater AND my black fleece hat. (Please see my fancy foot note at the bottom of the page.) Yes, I am sitting in front of my computer bundled in all these clothes...... and I am still cold. Even with a cup of tea! I wish the letters here would jitter and shake with a freezy feeling. Dam words. They express nothing. I soooo much prefer art that expresses stuff better. You look at a painting and it smacks you in the face. See Barry's wonderful video! You get it. It hits you in a second. By the way..... do you know how Magrite, or it is Magritte.... (Yes, that looks better!) how he paints the buildings all dark and the sky is lit up with pretty blue behind the buildings. He DID NOT imagined that sky line. THAT is exactly how the sky looks almost every night here in Brussels. I KNOW if I try and capture it on my camera it will not work because the flash will shine on the window. So go look at Magritte's paintings. They are REAL, not imaginary. Some at least!

Often, if I just sit still my bg goes up, so why should I drink coke and mess everything up?! I am too chicken to tell you guys that my bg is....Well yes, it was in the 40s when I strted this post and I am not drinking coke. I am just waiting for it to go up as I sit here. It will. I KNOW it will! 95% of the time it does. Not 100% of the time. I am not advising others to follow what I do, maybe it will not work on you, but it does work on me. ....... And as Scott always says.....I should NOT think that the normal rules have to hold! BUT my head says this is NOT what the docs are telling us. I may sink one of these days. Bubble, bubble, blppp. This disease demands a a very, very delicate balance. I cannot recommend to others what I do - unless they know how THEIR body works! I am still freezing so I do not think this is the 95% case but maybe the 5% scenario. Don't worry. Per is in the same room with me. He KNOWS what I am doing. He understands how this dam disease IS! Thank goodness I have him.

Per and I knew eachother for three months before we got married! We have been married since 1971! I am just toooooo lucky a person. I am very happy to be me. I am VERY, VERY happy. Am I so happy b/c I am in a hypo?! Oh well, I AM happy and that is good. Now I actually am less freezing.......... YUP it is now 54mg/dl. I am defrosting. LOVELY! I will go eat lunch now, and take a little less meal bolus for lunch. I prefer that over drinking coke. After lunch we will take a walk witht that naughty dog.

Oh, one more thing, Jenny said that coke in the US contains high fructose corn syrup, while in Europe it contains sucrose. Fructose does not work as quickly as sucrose.

So after that escape yesterday, Skye has to wear a reflex collar with our telephone number on it!

The pattern of the vine on the wall war really amazingly beautiful.

Below is a harvest of sugar beets. I wonder if they have fructose or sucrose?

*I am reading Truth and Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett. Lucy loves lieing in hot bath water. Per is reading Alan Greenspan's autobiography, and he too likes lieing in hot bathtubs. Greenspan that is! Both Per and I hate baths. Greenspan had back problems, and that is why he started, but then he continued doing it b/c he liked it so much. This book by Patchett is great - it is interesting how Lucy who has survived cancer feels so strong after her battle with cancer. Nothing can smash her down. It even makes her kind of wreckless....She and Ann get so much out of life. They don't have much, but they soooo enjoy their time teaching in Iowa. Thank you Beth for recommending it and Bel Canto!

What REALLY Lies Behind Diabetes?

I liked this article in the New York Times. I liked it because people are beginning to open their eyes to the complexity of diabetes.


Bernard just sent me this additional article, which seems to be closely related to the article mentioned above. I thought it best to edit my blog entry so you would all the info at the same place! Thank you Bernard for letting me know about this! So much more research is needed, but maybe people are beginning to wake up to the complexity of diabetes, and we are not even talking about a cure!

Careful logging and decreasing the number of variables by maintaining constant food, exercise and insulin levels have clearly shown me that other elements are causing many of my high and low blood sugar values. We don't have to blame ourselves for mismangaement, at least not all of the time!



Want to read a DELIGHTFUL book? A book that will make you chuckle? Check out Three Bags Full by Leonie Swann. I have added it to the books under my profile book list.



I have gotten use to the new layout at Barnes and Noble - and it is not so bad! It has led me to other new books, not that I need to buy more kids books..... Children's books are often marvelous. Check out books by Mo Willems such as The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog and Don't let the Pigeon Drive the Bus. My excuse for buying these was that I can give them to some grandchild, when I have read them myself a million times first! And Anthony Browne is still writing children's books. I bought his books 30 years ago when Eric and Ellen were little.... so I was simply was FORCED to add to our collection of his books. I love the drawings and I love the text. Check out Gorilla by Anthony Browne. I haven't read it yet or seen it, but Voices in the Park, by the same author, is very tempting.... And A Perfect Day for It by Jan Fearnley was just to cute to resist....... This is why I have to have numerous bookshelves both in Sweden and in Belgium. I cannot resist good books.



Now I am reading First Words: A Childhood in Fascist Italy by Rosetta Loy......

Did the Pink Elephant, Yellow Canary and Blue Mouse Trio Fly by My Window Sunday Morning

What do I mean by that title? I mean that diabetic stuff is happening to me that I find totally incomprehensible. So maybe the Trio did fly by. That is the best explanation I can come up with. That is what I spent all last night thinking/dreaming about - honestly I couldn't get the Trio out of my head. I wish I could include here a funny picture of the Trio but I am not computer savvy so you can all picture this Trio as YOU imagine them to be! The Trio sure had me laughing.

The following picture of Skye also makes me laugh:

This is Skye's favorite position now a days! On his back, feet up in the air!

Anyhow, back to my point. For those of you who know me, who know how diligently I track everything and try to maintain constants so that I can understand the results in my diabetic log sheets, I think you will believe me when I just simply say that the normal explanation factors of food, exercise, stress, illness have NOT caused my diabetic troubles this week. I am not going to bore you and give you all the details to prove this, I am just going to say it and hope you believe me! Anyhow I am not looking for advice on what to do; I just have a horrible need to TELL someone what has been happening to me. .... Monday I had to drink 200ml of coke to get a hypo to LEAVE ME ALONE. As you know, 15-30ml (1-2tablespoons) is usually all I need to treat a hypo. I patiently sipped and sipped and sipped coke for 2.5 hours sitting in a public place. I was too scared to try and walk home. My bg was down to 35mg/dl. I did not feel that I was having a hypo, but I KNOW that I am hypo unaware so I had done a test to check what the bg level was. Tuesday was normal. No problems. No hypos at all. Same food, same insulin, same exercise. Actually I got a little more exercise on Tuesday than on Monday! Then Wednesday again terrible hypos. I finally broke down and ate 2 slices of bread and peanut butter and iceberg lettuce because I HAD to go do errands and I didn't want to collapse. Usually this is really a bad idea b/c my bg will rise several hours later rather than immediately. Well not yesterday. My bg never rose above 95mg/dl. I cannot make any changes in my insulin or food amounts since there is no consistent pattern. Today no hypos. So yup, I guess the Trio caused it. There is stuff we do not understand about this disease. It is important that we share with each other our experiences. Maybe if you have really weird hypos like these you will remember what I am saying and realize you are not alone. I was so tired last night after the horrible hypos that I didn't even have the energy to pick up a nail file and file a little jag on my ring finger nail. Sooooo tired out!


Another thing I don't understand. I need about twice as much bolus for a given meal. Is it the Trio again? This has been going on since February of this year. First just my lunches were affected, then my breakfasts and now also dinners. Why? OK, what could be the possible reasons. I have gone down in weight by about 2 kilos. When you loose weight you often need more insulin for a given food amount - but two kilos, that is not much of a weight loss. Usually increased insulin levels indicate an illness in the body. I have requested several tests and we will see if anything is found. I will let you know. The thing is that I had to fight to get these tests done. If one has a good HbA1C then you are fine and so my requests were considered stupid. My best guess is that my digestion has for some reason changed. The reason why I think this is that my basal levels are NOT increased. Maybe my good values after three years of having the pump have made my digestion more efficient. This increase of meal bolus amounts, even though food amounts have not been altered, has made it so that my basal insulin is less than 30% of my total daily dose. According to Gary Scheiner's book Think Like a Pancreas - A Practical Guide to Manging Diabetes with Insulin, basal insulin should be about 40-50% of the total daily dose. This is a really helpful book. Why am I weird? AGAIN - why don't I fit the normal patterns? Why don't I follow the book rules? I kind of think that we all often don't follow the "normal patterns". Why should I be the only one, the only exception. I DON'T think I am the only exception. Maybe it is because I am small and thin?! That is my best guess. I absolutely cannot increase my basal amounts. I have done basal tests. A possible explanation could be that I eat very little protein. I have for this reason requested that a blood test be done to make sure I am eating enough protein . At the same time I requested a test for celiac and the level of vitamin D and calcium. See what a trouble maker I am..... Not all the results are in yet but I have already been told to increase my vitamin D3 supplement from 400IE to 800 IE per day. Many diabetics need more vitamin D. New research indicates that increasing vitamin D supplements can help our body reduce the destruction of beta cells. So vitamin D supplements can improve our management of diabetes. I do not really think this can help ME b/c I produce less than 0.009 µg/l c-peptides. Many T1 diabetics DO produce more than this. To say this more simply, since my beta cells are so totally destroyed, I don't see how they can be helped with some extra vitamin D. Nevertheless, I do think I should increase my daily amounts. Others of you reading this might request to have a check on your vitamin D level.


It seems that October 3rd was delurking day. I have said so many times that I write this blog to share and to discuss with other diabetics how diabetes affects us. I don't write it to hear myself yap. I don't write it because I want to be a writer. I write it for your feedback. I NEED your comments. I hope we can help each other. Medical science does not have all the answers yet!

See the cool button:





OK, I am a day late!

Finally, I have to recommend another book. It is not a new book. It came out in 2004. Probably I am the only one who has not read it! The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. This is what it says on the back of the book:

"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is a murder mystery novel like
no other. The detective and narrator is Christopher Boone. Christopher is
fifteen and has Asperger's Syndrome. He knows a very great deal about maths and
very little about human beings. he loves lists, patterns and the truth. He hates
the colors yellow and brown and being touched. He has never gone further than
the end of the road on his pwn, but when he finds a neighbor's dog murdered he
sets out on a terrifying journey which will turn his whole world upside down."

Now I don't have Asperger's Syndrome but I love lists and patterns and the truth. I find math a piece of cake, but I am terrible at fitting in with other people. My social skills are lacking. It is simple to understand the logical way in which Christopher thinks, and we both love dogs! I haven't finished it yet but so far I love it.

PLEASE leave your comments. I NEED them. And laugh at the Trio!

On the Subject of Hypos and What is Happening to our On-Line Community

I am a little bit upset about what I feel is happening to the Diabetes On-Line Community. I am just speaking from my gut. Many bloggers have begun writing their blogs for magazines, medical forums etc. I really do understand that this can be a wonderful job an d a great source of extra income, but something is getting lost. The heart of the community is dieing. I feel it in my gut. I don't like it! I guess that this is progress and change is inevitable, but I am really sorry to see things chang in this direction. MONEY - why does everything have to be motivated by money. Wake up Chrissie - that is life. Well, I am happy I was around when things were a little more like a big "family" of people just trying to help each other.

Furthermore I am really annoyed about comments that are either overt or disquised advertising. I WILL DELETE ALL SUCH COMMENTS! So you guys who want to advertise on my site, you are just wasting your time.

HOORAY for me - my last HbA1c was 5.2, my lowest ever. I am happy with myself! My success is all do to my pump. Yeah for my pump! And drinking coke for hypos and Kevin's wonderful log sheets!

I had a really yucky hypo the other morning ...... Particularly when my bg is low, I follow a pattern. I do EXACTLY what I do every morning - turn on the computer, do a bg test, write the night's bg values in the computer and change the insertion site if necessary. But my head wasn't working. I KNEW I had to drink coke, so I sat at my desk and drank 30ml of coke. Then I just sort of slowly folded and fell to the ground. Since I had drunken the coke, I lied there for maybe two minutes. I could feel the energy rise up in me, like bubbles. It felt like bubbles coming up from my toes. Why my toes? I remember thinking "ahuh, I think you can get up now", and I did. THEN I began to do all the stuff that I NORMALLY do. I followed the normal pattern. I love patterns when I am low. However my head really wasn't with it yet. I did a blood test and it was 42mg/dl, but that was AFTER the coke. Then I spent about 10 minutes trying to think out IF I had drunken coke or if I should drink some now. I had already forgotten that I had fallen to the floor; the order of things was all jumbled in my head. Next step - turn on the computer. I have no idea how I did it. This is hard to explain, my fingers just sort of did it...... They knew the passwords! And afterwards I have no memory of turning it on. Here comes the yucky part - I changed my needle and cartridge, which means you have to disconnect and prime the tubing and MY HEAD STILL WASN'T THERE..... Again I kind of did it with my fingers and subconsciousness! I only remember clicking out the bubbles. Then I went down to eat breakfast. Now I was feeling better, but I knew I had changed the needle and cartridge and primed the tubing WITHOUT MY HEAD! What if I primed when the line was connected to my body?! 30U would be terrible for me; my TDD is about 15U! I DID do everything right. I have pretty smart fingers, but still I don't want to repeat this. No thank you please! The whole thing was so weird! It is just nice to tell someone! First I was too scared to admit this to Per - it just makes him worry and then he drives me crazy. However yesterday I finally did tell him. I cannot keep a secret from Per. Are there others who also try to cover up their mistakes? Hey, why do I call this a mistake? THIS WAS NOT MY FAULT; STOP IT CHRISSIE!!!!!! We blame too much on ourselves! It is not my fault that I had a hypo!

If you have read all the rave reviews of "Away" by Amy Bloom, forget them! Yes it is well written, but it is just one terrible thing after another, after another, after another....... Look life isn't that way. Life is a mixture of fun stuff and bad stuff. No way can I believe that there was nothing in her life to make her smile/chuckle along the way. Don't we all laugh at least sometimes as we struggle through the bad garbage that life throws our way? I will not say what happens at the end, if you still want to read it.